![]() Silver, pewter, bronze, white gold, rose gold and soft yellow gold can all work as long as they are muted enough. Antiqued can be great too, as long as it isn’t overly blackened. Brushed, matte, satin and hammered metals are fantastic. ![]() The best metals for Soft Autumn are soft and muted. And the last returns to the small dots, but replaces the olive with Bright Winter lime. The third is the same as the second, but the dots are larger. The next replaces those with True Autumn olive dots. The polka-dot pattern on the left uses a Soft Autumn pink background and Soft Autumn khaki dots. The patterns below are examples of the first and last case. ![]() More neutral - an incorrect grey will be less problematic than an incorrect red You’re more likely to get away with it if the non-Soft Autumn colour is:Ĭloser to Soft Autumn, like True Autumn olive as opposed to Bright Winter lime What if most of the colours in a pattern are Soft Autumn, but there’s one that clearly isn’t? Does it matter? If the colours are right, you’ll see the same effects you saw during your draping, like vitality, happiness, 3-dimensionality and authenticity. If harmonising with the fan is too hard, try checking it against your face. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.Matching solid colours to your fan is one thing matching patterns can be a trickier task. Consider yourself warned.įor now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. And when you do, you’re going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Just look where you’re walking or you’ll get KO’d by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well, then you’re going to fucking love my house. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses it’s fall, fuckers. Why? Because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. Then I’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. The next thing I’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. ![]() Sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes-specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”Ĭarving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |